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November 30th, 2009UncategorizedIn this day and age, if your spouse or significant other is cheating on you, you can’t afford to be the last one to know. There’s far too much at stake.
Being the last one to know could cost you your marriage / relationship, your money or your health.
Every day you put off finding out the truth you run the risk that
● Your cheating spouse will drain your joint bank accounts to finance their extramarital affair
● Your cheating spouse will max out your joint credit cards buying gifts for his or her lover and stick you with the bills.
● Your husband or boyfriend will get his lover pregnant, and end up having to pay child support.
● Your wife or girlfriend will become pregnant by her lover.
● Your cheating mate will put your health at risk by exposing you to HIV/AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases, if he or she is having unprotected sex.
● Your cheating spouse or significant other will leave you ,and move in with his or her lover before you even realize what’s been going on.
● Your cheating husband or wife will surprise you with divorce papers that they’ve had secretly prepared behind your back.
As you can see, being the last to know can leave you open to financial ruin, jeopardize your health.
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November 29th, 2009Uncategorized1. Since most female infidelity is preventable, keep your finger on the pulse of your relationship. If your wife or girlfriend expresses dissatisfaction with you or your relationship, don’t treat it lightly.
2. Cyber infidelity, online infidelity, internet infidelity – whatever term you use - poses a serious threat to any marriage or relationship. Be aware of what your spouse or significant other is doing online when you think they are innocently surfing the net.
3. Don’t underestimate the danger of non-sexual forms of ( cyber or emotional) infidelity. If you suspect that it’s going on, take positive action before it’s too late.
4. Take precautions to keep work spouse relationships from turning into workplace affairs. You and your mate should keep each other in the loop, and avoid becoming emotionally dependent on your work husband or work wife.
5. Educate yourself about the subtle signs infidelity. Relying on the classic or so called “top 10 signs of infidelity will only guarantee that you’ll be the last to know. Invest in a good infidelity reference book to help you spot the subtle telltale signs of infidelity that may be staring you in the face. Knowing what to look for is the key.
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November 28th, 2009Uncategorized
For better or worse, for richer or poorer, until death do us part. Most of us recite these traditional wedding vows and may never think about exactly what we are promising to our spouse when we say the words. Your wedding vows are a commitment to your husband or wife. A commitment that is broken when an affair takes place. If that commitment is broken, can you restore it and save your marriage? The answer is yes, you can save your marriage after an affair, but it will take sincere effort and dedication.
The foundation of a marriage is trust. Trust is built on honesty. When you or your spouse have an affair you are betraying the trust that has been given to you. Trust is hard to build and easy to tear down. Once trust has been betrayed, it is even harder to rebuild. If you are the partner who has had an affair, the first thing you must do is be completely honest with your spouse. The only way you can regain your partners trust is through total honesty in everything you do.
Your actions will need to provide the proof that you can be trusted. You can tell your spouse all day long that you are trustworthy, but your actions will speak louder than your words. If you say you will do something, do it. No matter how inconvenienced you are, it is vitally important that you follow through with what you say. If you continue to provide proof of your honesty, you will slowly be able to regain your spouses trust. Along with your spouses trust, you must also gain their forgiveness.
Forgiveness for the affair is a necessary part of saving your marriage, but it is a difficult step for most people. After having your trust betrayed, the hardest thing to imagine is ever being able to forgive your spouse and trust again. Until you are able to imagine trusting again, you will not be able to forgive. Yes, you heard me right, the biggest obstacle to forgiving your spouse, is believing that you can trust them again. If you are willing to try to trust again, forgiveness is possible.
In order to forgive and trust again, you need to make your spouse aware the behavior that will reinforce their efforts to regain your trust. You should work together to create a do and don’t list. These are things that will allow you to focus your efforts on saving your marriage and getting past the affair.
Don’t expect to recover from the affair overnight. Healing from a major betrayal of trust takes a lot of time. Many times counseling or other expert help is needed to overcome the hurt. Some days will seem like two steps forward and one step back. You must take things one day at a time and slowly forgiveness will be granted and trust will be restored.
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November 26th, 2009Uncategorized
In this day of everyone jumping into bed with everyone else it is quite easy to get paranoid about infidelity warning signs but one thing you have to remember is that not everyone is guilty of having an affair.
There are many seemingly obvious infidelity warning signs that are genuine actions that don’t spell disaster and aren’t anyway related to your spouse jumping into bed with someone else.
If you believe that your spouse is cheating on you, do your homework before you start throwing any accusations around. What you perceive to be infidelity warning signs might prove to be signs that your spouse is having an affair but they might not:
• Accuse them of infidelity when they’re innocent might cause problems in an otherwise rock solid marriage.
• Accuse them without proof and they might convince you that you are paranoid.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t act on your gut feel or ignore infidelity warning signs but don’t panic when you first begin to feel that there is a problem with your marriage and don’t let your partner know of your concerns without having hard evidence.
Some infidelity warning signs could be quite innocent such as:
• A sudden interest in the gym (they might just want to get fit)
• Seemingly guilty when on the phone (could be planning a surprise)
• Clearing old test messages (could just be good housekeeping)
• History wiped on the computer (possibly had to clean the computer)
If you feel there is something wrong don’t ignore the warning signs. I’m saying that there could be an innocent reason, not that there is. Any concerns of infidelity need to be resolved if you’re just being paranoid you need to prove it to yourself and if you’re not you need to catch that cheating spouse.
